Why the best conversations happen side by side
By Annemieke Lais ·
Why a crayon and a piece of paper can open doors that questions sometimes can’t.
There is a particular kind of child — and most parents know one — who goes quiet the moment a big feeling is named directly. Ask them “how did that make you feel?” and a door closes. Ask them again and it locks. But sit down beside them with something to colour, and somewhere between the yellow and the blue, the words start to come.
This is not a parenting failure. It is not stubbornness. It is simply how many children are wired — especially in the years when feelings are large and language is still catching up. Direct eye contact, direct questions, direct attention can feel like too much. But side by side, hands busy, eyes on the page — that is a different kind of safe.
“Some children don’t open up when we look at them. They open up when we sit beside them.”
What the colouring pages are for
Every story in Nuri Tales comes with a colouring page — an illustration from the story, ready to print and bring to the table. Not as a craft activity. Not as a reward. But as a reason to be together, side by side, hands busy, with the story still warm between you.
The image gives your child something to look at that isn’t you. And that small shift — their eyes on the page, your eyes on the page, both of you colouring — creates exactly the kind of quiet, low-pressure space where the biggest feelings tend to surface on their own.
You don’t have to engineer the conversation. You just have to show up at the table with two crayons and a little patience.
What it might look like
Say your 6-year-old has had a hard week — a falling out with a friend, a moment of embarrassment at school, something they haven’t quite found the words for yet. That evening you read them a Nuri Tales story about a small bear named Theo who felt left out at the river when the other animals didn’t save him a spot.
The next afternoon, you print the colouring page — Theo, standing at the edge of the river, looking in. You sit down together.
A moment at the table
You pick up a blue crayon and start on the water. Your child reaches for brown — Theo’s fur. A minute passes. Two.
“I think Theo is sad,” your child says, without looking up.
“Yeah,” you say. “Me too. What do you think he’s feeling in his tummy right now?”
Another minute. More colouring. Then: “Like when no one saves you a seat.”
You don’t rush it. You just say: “That’s a really big feeling to carry.”
And they nod, still colouring. And that is everything.
Notice that the conversation never had to be about your child directly. Theo carried it. The page held the space. You just stayed in the room — and that was enough.
How to use the colouring pages
Print after the story
The same evening or the next day, while the story is still close. It doesn't need to be a scheduled activity. Leave it on the kitchen table. Put the crayons beside it. Children are often drawn to it naturally.
Sit with them
Colour too — even if you just fill in a corner. Your presence beside them, rather than across from them, changes everything about how safe the moment feels.
Let the story come up naturally
You might ask about a moment in the illustration — "I wonder what Theo is thinking here" — or you might say nothing at all and let your child lead. Both are right. There is no wrong way to colour together.
A gentle reminder
Leave your phone in another room. The colouring page is printed. The story has been read. This moment doesn’t need anything else — just you, your child, and a handful of crayons.
For children who find words hard
Some children — particularly those who are younger, or who tend to feel things very deeply, or who simply haven’t yet found language for their inner world — will not say much at all. They will colour. They will hum. They may tell you what colour to use.
This is not a failed conversation. The story has already done its work. The image in front of them carries the feeling they aren’t yet ready to name. And the fact that you are there, unhurried, present, not asking them to perform their emotions — that is landing somewhere, even when it looks like nothing is happening.
Trust the quiet. It is doing more than it appears.
The best conversations with children are rarely the ones we planned. They happen in the margins — in the car, at the sink, over a bowl of something warm. And sometimes, over a colouring page, with the story still fresh and the crayons spread between you. You don’t need the right words. You just need to sit down.
Every Nuri Tales story comes with a colouring page — an illustration ready to print, bring to the table, and colour together.
See how it worksWritten by Annemieke Lais, Founder of Nuri Tales